Being Tested

It was vision time...I lay there for what seemed like hours under the sun, it was relentless in it's intensity. Wave over wave of anger washed over me. I walked to my flag and prayed for this anger to go away. As intense as the sun was, so was my anger. I prayed and prayed and prayed.
When vision time was over we were directed to the river (to cool our souls)
I gingerly put my feet into the river....this is when my tears came, I stood there and I could not stop crying. This is when I realized that this power greater than me, protected and loved me unconditionally.
The message for me was clear, but, what was I to do. I humbly accepted the power greater than me.
I will stick to my convictions....no matter how difficult things may become.The Creator is always watching over us....I offer tobacco...thank you.
"Faith"

Sweat

With great trepidation, I sit with these women; they are veterans...veterans of this sweat. They sit and chatter amongst themselves excitedly. This is my very first sweat, and I am very nervous.
They come in rounds......
The first round is a prayer for the children....the little one's ....and the ones that are yet to be born. Grandfathers' are very gentle with these prayers.
The second round is for the youth; it had sense of nervous impatience and a hint of anger. Grandfathers had powerful prayers......So powerful that it robbed me of my breath. It made my heart my heart race as if it were to pop out of my chest.
I came out thinking I couldn't handle anymore, and I went back in....our youth need all the prayer in the world.
Then came the prayer for the elders; the most powerful and with these prayers came humility.
What I admire the most of an individual is their ability to persevere.
I am very grateful for the people that I have met on my journey.

My Coloured Flags

I stand inside my sacred space, my heart soars, and swells with overwhelming pride. The beauty of it all, the stars, and Grandmother Moon bears witness. I offer tobacco...
I offer prayer and tobacco to each of my colored flags.
My yellow flag represents the direction East, but also for the sunrise, new life, new beginnings, birth and enlightenment.
My green and blue flag represents the direction South, but also for warmth, rain, summer, growth of plants, young children and nourishment.
My red flag represents the direction West, but also for the sunset, endings, Ancestors, teachings passed on, the journey beyond the next world, and the color of my people.
My black and white flags represent the direction North, but keep in mind that the black flag is necessary to keep things in balance between the positive and the negative aspects of life.
The white flag represents survival, purity, wisdom, and the white hair of our elders.
My purple flag represents things that are beyond this world, noble Ancestors, the ancient ones...our true visionaries.
I stood at my Eastern door and my yellow flag swayed in the breeze, the purple flag which was just right behind me; gently placed itself on my shoulder. The Ancestors are acknowledging me. A tender reminder of their love for me.
I offer tobacco....thank you.

Sweetgrass

Standing by the river, I look up towards the sky, and my heart is overwhelmed with pride. The smell of sweetgrass is everywhere. It clouds over a bit and the wind picks up...the sweetgrass starts dancing. They are happy that I am here to pick them. I spend more time hugging and smelling them, because they are so sweet. It is our mother's hair this is why we braid them. We also pray with it once it is braided, it keeps us close to her.

Visions

I happened upon a scene once that stays with me to this very day. It was in the dead of winter and I was on my way home for a quick lunch. It happened to be freezing rain that day and the road was thick with it. Being a nervous driver (must have pissed off a few people behind me) I drove slowly. Just ahead of me I saw something and I thought to myself ( no it couldn't be, or could it?) two beautiful wolves sitting by the side of the road.
As Uncle Al would put it (side by each). They were just covered in gorgeous thick white fur. They definitely wanted me to see them. It totally took my breath away, and I thought for a second, I'm going to stop for a bit and observe these amazing creatures, and fear gave way to my whim. So I kept on driving.
They had a message for me. But I carry them in my mind and in my heart still. Longing to see them again.
I try to recapture the beauty of them on paper but to no avail. It is something that I will carry with me always. I suppose that what I saw that day is not meant to be duplicated. This is something that will come to light when it is time.

Wolf Dance - Chief Dan George

www.firstpeople

I wanted to give something of my past to my grandson. So I took him into the woods, to a quiet spot. Seated at my feet he listened as I told him of the powers that were given to each creature. He moved not a muscle as I explained how the woods had always provided us with food, homes, comfort, and religion. He was awed when I related to him how the wolf became our guardian, and when I told him that I would sing the sacred wolf song over him, he was overjoyed. In my song, I appealed to the wolf to come and preside over us while I would perform the wolf ceremony so that the bondage between my grandson and the wolf would be lifelong. I sang.
In my voice was the hope that clings to every heartbeat. I sang.
In my words were the powers I inherited from my forefathers. I sang.
In my cupped hands lay spruce seed--the link to creation. I sang.
In my eyes sparkled love. I sang.
And the song floated on the sun's rays from tree to tree.
When I had ended, it was if the whole world listened with us to hear the wolf's reply. We waited a long time but none came. Again I sang, humbly but as invitingly as I could, until my throat ached and my voice gave out.
All of a sudden I realized why no wolves had heard my sacred song. There were none left! My heart filled with tears. I could no longer give my grandson faith in the past, our past.
At last I could whisper to him: "It is finished!" "Can I go home now?" He asked, checking his watch to see if he would still be in time to catch his favourite program on TV. I watched him disappear and wept in silence. All is finished!

I had a dream once of a sacred ceremony and it was told to me that it was known as the Wolf Dance. I wondered for the longest time what kind of meaning it had for me. Then one day I was searching online for some Legends and I came upon this poem that was written by Chief Dan George; He has been a person that has recurred in dreams, poems and visions throughout my life. I did get my answer and I know that I am on the right path. Our children are our future and they need a lot of guidance...Moe

Good Compay - Good Conversation

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Originally uploaded by paqtesm00.

Went out with big sis and my cousin to beach glass and of course catch up on anything
and everything under the sun...she is now in New York preparing for
bar exam. I know she will do well.
We found some very interesting pieces that day...which is unusual for this particular spot. I am getting as much time out on the beach because we are going to be back to classes tomorrow. : O
Our next course is School Law and they say that it is a very dry course...hmm can't really comment until I see what it's all about.
I guess that's all I have to say for now.